Zach has been feeling pretty good the past nine weeks because he was only taking two of his three chemo drugs to see if the cancer would remain stable with out the third drug that makes him sick. He had a CT Scan this morning. The scan showed that the cancer in his liver hasn't grown. The cancer in the lungs has grown, so Zach is receiving the third drug again starting today. He is not looking forward to the side affects that will come over the next weeks. When he was on the drug before he struggled with feeling nauseous and really tired.
God continues to provide opportunities for Zach to share what God is doing in his life. On Sunday evening Zach is scheduled to share with the youth group at a church in Van Wert, Ohio. On Wednesday he is scheduled to record a radio interview and talk to the students at Lakewood Park Christian School. Then on Friday night he has a presentation in Gridley, IL. Please pray that he will feel well enough to share with each of these groups and that God can be glorified through his words.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Date Night
A few weeks ago Jon and Beth blessed us with a date night. Zach and I enjoyed some great on-on-one time. The kids had a blast playing with Jon and Beth in Steve and Myra's basement. Who knew that a table for 20 could make a great fort or that a hot dog is much better when you make it into octopus? Since then Zion has prayed several times that God would give Jon and Beth (also know as: those nice people-when he can't remember their names) with children (I told him that they are waiting to adopt children from across the ocean so we should pray for them).
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Passport Through Darkness
A few years ago Zach and I volunteered with a ministry in Fort Wayne that serves International Refugees and Immigrants from Burma, Sudan, and many other countries of the world. I watched the children while Zach helped the adults with their English and Computer skills. As I think back it makes me sad that I didn't appreciate the opportunity as much as I should have. Zion was a baby and then a young toddler and some Monday nights I struggled to go because I was overwhelmed by my adjustment to being a new mom and then being pregnant with Moriah. After Moriah was born I had the opportunity to teach a parenting class to some of the ladies through my work at Gateway Woods Family Services. My goal was to teach the ladies what was expected of parents living in America, to help them to avoid any contact with our local child protection agency. My guess is that if the language barrier wasn't there most of the women could have taught me more about parenting and life than I taught them. From what I know of the countries where many of them come from many of them were (and are) survivors of situations I have only read about: war, abuse, rape, refugee camps, starvation, poverty, displacement, religious persecution, loss of family members and homes(the list could go on and on). My heart aches for the pain and loss they have experienced. I wonder if they thought I was silly telling them that they needed to have beds for their children, when many of them were thankful to have a roof over their heads instead of a tent, falling down building, or nothing at all. Or when I suggested that they should always make sure someone responsible is watching their children because it isn't safe for them to be unsupervised-did they want to tell me that their children have been safer here than in their birth country where armed solders invaded their communities and food was scarce.
As I look at Zion and Moriah can imagine how hard it must be to not have food for your children or a place to keep them safe from those who would hurt them. Sometimes it would be nice not to know the horrors that occur in our world, but I don't believe that God wants us to close our eyes to the needs of others. He commands us to care for the orphan and widow, to share the gospel, and to defend the weak. I want my Eyes to be Open to the needs of others.
I should (and do) feel guilty at times about the way I use the resources God has given me because He gave me the time, talents, and money I have expecting me to use them to bless others. I can get overwhelmed by the great needs across this world and at times not do anything because I don't know where to start-Satan loves this. If he can keep us confused and overwhelmed we won't be taking action. I have a big heart and am touched by the pain of many, but I know I can't do it all, so I try to stay focused on my passion for helping orphans and children who need families. I am blessed that my work at Gateway Woods allows me to help families adopt and encourage other families to consider adopting. As the result of Zach having cancer, God has also given me the opportunity to have a small part in advocating for the orphaned and needy children in Haiti, through the Cancer Redemption Project. I would like to challenge each person who reads this to ask God where He wants your passion to be and pray for opportunities to use what God has given you to further His Kingdom.
I am not sure how this got to be so long. The original purpose of this post was actually to encourage people (especially women) to read a book I just finished. Passport Through Darkness: A True Story of Danger and Second Chances by Kimberly L. Smith. Kimberly is passionate about serving those who have been impacted by slavery, abuse, and war in Sudan (and around the world). I appreciate her honesty about her struggles, her pain, her weaknesses, her faith, and her fight to survive the difficult ministry God called her to. Reading her book opened my eyes to the experiences the women I worked with several years ago may have had. It also brought me fear as I read about the danger and hurt I (and those I love) could experience as we follow God's direction. At the same time it gave me hope to see how faithful God was to Kimberly in caring for her through her deepest trials. I have courage to press on knowing God is faithful.
quotes from the Book:
My daily prayer is that God would use my victories, wounds, and transgressions forged along the way to encourage others to risk losing everything to know the life God dreams for them, for you. p. 253
As when Abraham placed Isaac on the alter, when we're ready to risk what we hold most sacred, we step into that adventurous life, the only one that matters. There we find our purpose and feel His pleasure-His delight in us. Beaming with the Light of His image, we clearly see the exact dream He holds for each of us. In that Light and life, we find Him-our passport through darkness p. 254
As I look at Zion and Moriah can imagine how hard it must be to not have food for your children or a place to keep them safe from those who would hurt them. Sometimes it would be nice not to know the horrors that occur in our world, but I don't believe that God wants us to close our eyes to the needs of others. He commands us to care for the orphan and widow, to share the gospel, and to defend the weak. I want my Eyes to be Open to the needs of others.
I should (and do) feel guilty at times about the way I use the resources God has given me because He gave me the time, talents, and money I have expecting me to use them to bless others. I can get overwhelmed by the great needs across this world and at times not do anything because I don't know where to start-Satan loves this. If he can keep us confused and overwhelmed we won't be taking action. I have a big heart and am touched by the pain of many, but I know I can't do it all, so I try to stay focused on my passion for helping orphans and children who need families. I am blessed that my work at Gateway Woods allows me to help families adopt and encourage other families to consider adopting. As the result of Zach having cancer, God has also given me the opportunity to have a small part in advocating for the orphaned and needy children in Haiti, through the Cancer Redemption Project. I would like to challenge each person who reads this to ask God where He wants your passion to be and pray for opportunities to use what God has given you to further His Kingdom.
I am not sure how this got to be so long. The original purpose of this post was actually to encourage people (especially women) to read a book I just finished. Passport Through Darkness: A True Story of Danger and Second Chances by Kimberly L. Smith. Kimberly is passionate about serving those who have been impacted by slavery, abuse, and war in Sudan (and around the world). I appreciate her honesty about her struggles, her pain, her weaknesses, her faith, and her fight to survive the difficult ministry God called her to. Reading her book opened my eyes to the experiences the women I worked with several years ago may have had. It also brought me fear as I read about the danger and hurt I (and those I love) could experience as we follow God's direction. At the same time it gave me hope to see how faithful God was to Kimberly in caring for her through her deepest trials. I have courage to press on knowing God is faithful.
quotes from the Book:
My daily prayer is that God would use my victories, wounds, and transgressions forged along the way to encourage others to risk losing everything to know the life God dreams for them, for you. p. 253
As when Abraham placed Isaac on the alter, when we're ready to risk what we hold most sacred, we step into that adventurous life, the only one that matters. There we find our purpose and feel His pleasure-His delight in us. Beaming with the Light of His image, we clearly see the exact dream He holds for each of us. In that Light and life, we find Him-our passport through darkness p. 254
Monday, January 16, 2012
Heart Issues
A post I wrote on November 13, 2011, but never made public.
I haven’t blogged very much lately because I struggle with what to write. I feel like the past six months more than any other time in my life has brought so much pain and so much frustration. I can be peacefully going about my day and then have my emotions thrown into upheaval by a phone call or conversation. I have felt so helpless to influence or make a difference in people’s lives when their grief and anguish is so great. Watching Zach battle cancer and deal with pain has been tough and seeing other people I love and care about hurt because of relationship problems, poor decisions, and sin has added to the burden that I long to escape. I can testify that I get through each day not on my own strength or even my own prayers, but instead the grace of God and the faithful prayers of other people. Just today Zach shared with a church that our trails can be used to glorify God and to bring people to God’s kingdom. I am so thankful that the Cancer Redemption Project gives me a wonderful glimpse of how God is using Zach’s cancer. In other situations, I struggle to see how God can use the many broken pieces for His Gory. I have to remind myself that He is the author of Healing. He can change broken hearts and lives. He can work miracles in even the darkest situations.
Today (Jan. 16, 2012):Please pray that I can face the reality of my life with courage, it is so easy to try to escape when the pain gets to be more than I feel I can bear. When I am not trying to escape, I often focus on surviving the here and now (laundry, cleaning the house, keeping the kids from hurting each other, making it through another day). While the day to day tasks need done, I believe God wants more from me. He wants me further His kingdom by striving to encourage and bless others. Satan wants me to be in survival and escape mode, so I am not the Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend God wants me to be. I want more, so my prayer is that God will show me how to focus on Him and teach me to be the Woman He wants me to be.
I haven’t blogged very much lately because I struggle with what to write. I feel like the past six months more than any other time in my life has brought so much pain and so much frustration. I can be peacefully going about my day and then have my emotions thrown into upheaval by a phone call or conversation. I have felt so helpless to influence or make a difference in people’s lives when their grief and anguish is so great. Watching Zach battle cancer and deal with pain has been tough and seeing other people I love and care about hurt because of relationship problems, poor decisions, and sin has added to the burden that I long to escape. I can testify that I get through each day not on my own strength or even my own prayers, but instead the grace of God and the faithful prayers of other people. Just today Zach shared with a church that our trails can be used to glorify God and to bring people to God’s kingdom. I am so thankful that the Cancer Redemption Project gives me a wonderful glimpse of how God is using Zach’s cancer. In other situations, I struggle to see how God can use the many broken pieces for His Gory. I have to remind myself that He is the author of Healing. He can change broken hearts and lives. He can work miracles in even the darkest situations.
Today (Jan. 16, 2012):Please pray that I can face the reality of my life with courage, it is so easy to try to escape when the pain gets to be more than I feel I can bear. When I am not trying to escape, I often focus on surviving the here and now (laundry, cleaning the house, keeping the kids from hurting each other, making it through another day). While the day to day tasks need done, I believe God wants more from me. He wants me further His kingdom by striving to encourage and bless others. Satan wants me to be in survival and escape mode, so I am not the Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend God wants me to be. I want more, so my prayer is that God will show me how to focus on Him and teach me to be the Woman He wants me to be.
Zach had a CT scan Tuesday Dec 27th. The cancer had not grown and was about the same size (smaller in some places) as the last CT scan 2 months ago. The doctor decided to put Zach on a maintenance chemo (2 chemo medications instead of 3). The third chemo medication that they aren't giving him is the one that made him feel nauseated and caused him to loose his hair. He is currently seeing his doctor every three weeks and receives one medication via iv while we are there. He then takes chemo twice a day for two weeks in a pill form. Zach has had a lot more energy since the 27th and has not felt as sick. He continues to have pain in his colon. We are praying that this schedule will keep the cancer from growing and allow Zach feel better so he can be more active. His next CT Scan will be late Feb or early March.
On January 13th Zach had chemo and they took out the stint that was preventing his left ureter from being blocked off by a lymph node. The lymph node was a lot smaller on the CT scan so Zach was hoping to go without the stint which causes him some discomfort. Soon after we returned home on the 13th, Zach started feeling really sick and we ended up back at IU on the 14th to put the stint back in since his kidney was not able to drain through the ureter. While it was frustrating to spend our Saturday at the hospital, we are really thankful that the Urology Team was willing to perform the surgery on the weekend.
We continue to feel really blessed by the support for the Cancer Redemption Project. We mailed out a Daily Devotional Book in December written by Zach, Brad, and Ryan (please let us know if you didn't get one and would like one). Zach had the opportunity to share his testimony on one of our local Christian Radio Stations (link at cancerredemption.com). Our prayer is that our story can be used to bring people to Christ. Building continues and we are looking forward to seeing more pictures when Zach's sister Cassie returns from Haiti. She visited the Cancer Redemption Campus yesterday.
On January 13th Zach had chemo and they took out the stint that was preventing his left ureter from being blocked off by a lymph node. The lymph node was a lot smaller on the CT scan so Zach was hoping to go without the stint which causes him some discomfort. Soon after we returned home on the 13th, Zach started feeling really sick and we ended up back at IU on the 14th to put the stint back in since his kidney was not able to drain through the ureter. While it was frustrating to spend our Saturday at the hospital, we are really thankful that the Urology Team was willing to perform the surgery on the weekend.
We continue to feel really blessed by the support for the Cancer Redemption Project. We mailed out a Daily Devotional Book in December written by Zach, Brad, and Ryan (please let us know if you didn't get one and would like one). Zach had the opportunity to share his testimony on one of our local Christian Radio Stations (link at cancerredemption.com). Our prayer is that our story can be used to bring people to Christ. Building continues and we are looking forward to seeing more pictures when Zach's sister Cassie returns from Haiti. She visited the Cancer Redemption Campus yesterday.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Balloon Ride
Over the weekend we enjoyed a balloon ride with Jay Grube. The ride was Zach's birthday present from his parents and my gift to Zach was being brave enough to go with him.
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